Managing Frustration

Managing Frustration

Feeling frustratedWhen faced with overwhelming frustration, the healthiest thing we can do right now is own it, talk about it, and problem solve as a community. We are in a season of much change, and with that often comes much frustration. How we handle/approach our frustration dictates our outcome for this change. The technology we have provided our students with, and the technology our students are using at home can be an awesome resource/tool. These are devices and skills our students will need to learn to navigate to find success in the future they are growing into. With that being said, learning a new operating system, understanding the capacity of our tools/technology, and creating new ways to assess our students work/growth are changes that can lead to great frustration/anger.

As a parent, here are a couple steps we can model for our children. Recognizing the frustration and addressing it is the healthiest approach (as long as we are not hurting ourselves or someone else).

Writing/talking through what we can control, and what we can’t control Learning to advocate for yourself. Asking, “have I tried everything I know, and am I working hard?” If so, I need to learn to communicate properly with my teacher my needs. This is very important in a virtual world. Teachers want to help our students but can’t if they do not know there is a problem. Communication skills need to be taught and practiced and this is a great season for all of us to grow better in this skillset.

Below is a small excerpt for one of the articles. A quick overview of handling anger/frustration:


Frustration“The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships. Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.”

For additional and more personalized support, please contact our guidance offices in our schools! We are happy and ready to help!

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